“Don’t worry” is what we normally say to a person who feels weary and anxious.  Everyone has their own ways of dealing with anxiety attacks and sometimes saying “don’t worry” or “try not to worry” is not a good idea since these phrases could make the experience worse for the person with anxiety..

Anxiety is the only psychiatric illness that is also experienced by people without a psychiatric illness.

Saying “don’t worry” might seem helpful, but in reality, it falls short as advice for someone experiencing serious anxiety.  

Here are several things to say to a loved one experiencing anxiety:

1.“It’s okay to not be okay.”

It’s important for your loved ones to hear, “It’s okay that you feel anxious. I’m here with you. There’s no pressure for you to feel good right now.” This is different from saying, “You’re okay,” which can be incredibly invalidating. Rather, you are making it clear that it’s okay that they’re not okay. This can help them feel safer, supported and validated. It can also help them feel safe admitting they are not okay.

2.“How can I help?”

There is no need to tell someone who’s having anxiety attacks what they need to do as each person has their own techniques of coping with anxiety.  Instead, let them tell you what they need.  You can offer to join them if they want to go for a walk, for example. 

People are much more likely to accept help when it is offered than if they have to ask for it. The key is to simply offer.

3.“There is no reason to feel ashamed.”

It is acceptable that people are experiencing anxiety due to several triggers.   However, anxiety can cause people to withdraw from relationships and social interactions.  It is important to reassure a person who’s having a panic attack that there is no reason to feel ashamed, and that anxiety is a health condition and it’s not their fault.

4.“You are not alone.”

Mental illness is very common nowadays.  In fact, anxiety became even more prevalent during the pandemic as people across the globe struggled with an unprecedented health crisis, loneliness and isolation. By reassuring your loved ones that their struggles are valid and reminding them that they aren’t alone, you can help them keep perspective and feel supported.

5. “I support your decision.” (If they need counseling or medication.)

Mental illness is treatable.  You can encourage people with mental illness to seek help professionally. You should never question someone who needs professional guidance or medication for a mental illness. As a loved one, your role is not to be a doctor, nor an expert, but rather to help your loved one seek the help they need.

The best thing that you could offer or show someone with anxiety is love and acceptance, without any judgment.